Cracks and their Voids!(09.05.16)

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Look at these cracks in the picture above. This is a picture of a old plank of wood at home, which had developed cracks with time. Beautiful. Looks as if it has a story to tell.

I just read a quote “You’re never wrong to do the right Thing.”  I agree. Totally. But now the question in my mind is ‘What is the right thing to do?’

I love her. She loves me. But is it not that simple. I guess it never is.  Now, she has a boyfriend who is making her to stay with him in a relationship by forcing her emotionally and he does not know that he is forcing her. I am sure he loves him too and all and therein lies the problem.

I want to do the right thing. The thing which is right for us all. I want her to be happy; I want myself to be happy. I want her and she wants me, but she cannot leave him, and I don’t want to leave her. It’s confusing I know, it sounds ridiculous and I sometimes feel like a whore. A Slut.

I do not know what is the right thing to do? Leave her, stay with her? Because unhappiness is there on both of these options. My mind has a very strong say, telling me that we must end it and that we must stop it. I tried. I told her two times and she told me once. All of the times, one of us asked the other one to come back, and we did. It’s hard, leaving her. It’s hard to let it go.

Actually, rethinking on that it’s not that hard to let go. Letting go is easy. You just put all your emotions aside, take a deep breath, muster some courage and ask her to leave, or you tell that you are leaving. Its moving on that is hard. I feel it’s not the physical traits that matter in a person. Physical appearance is over rated I feel. You can find a person with the same, or similar, nose, eye ears, lips, even a similar face. What makes people THEM is there thought process and their minds and those little idiosyncrasy. That’s what makes us all unique.

It’s the mind and the thought process of the person that you fall in love with, not the body. And it’s this mind with which you bond. The memories you make, the conversations you had, and the moments you have, the time that was same for you both when you were together, be it in each other’s arms or across that coffee table. It’s this time, these memories and moments that you miss the most about a person.

I am sure you have observed, a small sapling is planted in a soil and the ground is all solid, no space, but as the sapling grows, its roots expand and somehow, they make space. There is virtually no space existing in the soil at the time of the planting but still it grows, its roots are there all round and it binds the soil . If you cut a root, the plant still grows; it has other roots to support it. Eventually the discarded root decays and there is nothing but a void that remains in the soil. This void will remain, and only time can heal it.

People are like roots. People come into your life. You think that your life is pretty full and you have no space for new people, and that you cannot accommodate new people in your life. But still with time, they do get accommodated in your daily life and when we consciously thing and try to understand their presence and reach in your life, we get to know that it is deep. Very deep.

If you have to let go of these people, you will miss them, okay. You have other people to interact and life goes on. But, the void which will be created by losing a root in the tree of your life can never be filled. Letting go will produce cracks in you, and they will never be filled.

Sometimes letting go is the only option.

Sometimes, it feels wrong, doing the right thing.

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